Thursday, January 12, 2012

My Prince and the Pea { Guest Post by The Harried Mom }

Guest Post by The Harried Mom
Check out her blog. It's real life Mom stuff, not stuff you see on tv.
Thanks Deb for guest posting this week!

Last week, I was out with my mom posse for our monthly dinner night out. While we perused the dinner menu, one mom was clearly stressed and needed to vent about what had just happened to her family the night before. Her two-year old son was accidentally given a peanut granola bar by the babysitter and had an all –out food allergy reaction, going into anaphylactic shock. Luckily, they live near a hospital ER that specializes in both pediatrics and anaphylaxis, and I’m happy to report that he is totally fine. After the tale of her scary night at the ER we decided she deserved a drink or two and so did we after hearing about it! Also, to help lighten the mood, I related a story about a funny trip of my own to the ER with my son.

It happened shortly before his third birthday. I’ll never forget the date: it was a summer Friday, June 18, 2010. The reason I’ll never forget it is because earlier that day I had taken the Hubs to have a “procedure.” Not to give out TMI, but let’s just say we won’t be having any more baby showers in this household! Anyway, he was in a lot of pain. So I brought him home, put him to bed and gave him some painkillers and an icepack for his…well, you know where.

It was a great weather day so I got the kids from school/daycare early and took them to the park and then brought them home to have dinner. My son knew that daddy had gone to the doctor and that he was a little sore so he was resting upstairs and we didn’t want to disturb him. I don’t remember what my then eight-month-old daughter ate, but my son had his fav, a PB&J sandwich along with some peas and carrots. Apparently my son was in a silly mood… and as I sat there feeding my daughter my son started to stick a pea up his nose! It happened so fast I couldn’t even snatch it away. I guess I freaked him out as I lunged at him to grab it away, because he took a big deep breath in as I leapt at him – and the pea got totally sucked up further his nose.

GREAT! Now how was I going to get that damn pea out?

Fortunately, at that point at least my son wasn’t freaking out. In fact, he thought it was hilarious. I moved into action. Phase 1: I tried to get my son to blow his nose into a tissue, but at that stage, he still wasn’t blowing with his nose, but rather his mouth. Phase 2: I found one of those birthday blowouts from some kiddie party we went to. I tried to cover one nostril and get him to blow out with the other. No dice. Phase 3: I blew pepper up his nose, hoping he’d sneeze. Well, that might work in the “Looney Tunes” he watches obsessively, not for him. Now I was getting nervous and my son was starting to feel uncomfortable. I was afraid to put anything else up his nose to pull it out. Now, it was time for the “Nuclear Option” and head to the ER.

I went upstairs and told Hubs that he needed go finish feeding our daughter because I was taking our son to the ER to have a pea removed. The Hubs reaction was “you’re kidding me right?” I honestly wished I was. So the Hubs gingerly came down the stairs to take care of our daughter, sitting in her high chair happy as a clam, entertained by all the action around her.

I whisked my son off to the ER. He wasn’t happy about it, afraid that they may try to stick him with a needle. He was crying and hysterical. I get him to calm down only by bribing him with the promise of a Cars sticker. We walk into the ER and I explain to the admissions clerk why we’re here. He never even looks up, just said, “Okay, fill this out and I’ll need your insurance card.” I thought, well, apparently this must be a common thing kids come in for….

That was until we got called to triage and the nurse asks me if she read the sheet correctly and if there is a pea up my son’s nose. “Yes”, I tell her and she lets out the biggest cackle. She said it was the first time she ever had a pea in the nose. Anyway, she takes us to a room and the doctor follows in shortly thereafter. He is a new doctor, like spanking brand new and has never had a pea in the nose. Great, my kid gets Dr. Newbie who doesn’t know what to do.

Now my son is really losing it. He was in a hospital ER full of scary equipment and he realized that the doctor didn’t know what to do. My son was afraid the pea would eat his brains! It was a slow evening in the ER so Dr. Newbie consults with a veteran doctor who wasn’t busy….actually, he consulted with two veteran doctors who entered our room flashing lights up my son’s nose and then discussing in a semi-circle as to the course of action. Hey, I’ve watched every episode of “Emergency!” but come on – it was a pea in the nose, guys!

The diagnosis: use a sort of long metal hook tool to snag the pea and take it out. I was instructed to sit on the bed and wrap my arms around my son so Dr. Newbie could glide the pea out with this tool. I just about get on the bed, hold my son when newbie doctor stuck the tool up my son’s nose, taking us all by surprise (which is what he said was his plan thinking my son wouldn’t have time to react, HA!). My son yanks his head back and the tool doesn’t grab onto the pea, but it does to the inside of his nose. Suddenly blood poured out of my son’s nose, onto his clothes and mine.

The veteran doctors came back when they hear my son screaming and crying. Now they have to stop the bleeding before they can make another pea removal attempt. I was more concerned that my son was going to start choking on blood or tears stopped up from that damn pea. After more consultations the new plan of attack was to have one of the veteran doctors use very thin tweezers to pluck the offending pea out.

We had to coax my son to lie back – and I don’t blame him – he was afraid he’d get hurt again. A smarty mommy nurse wound up giving him a lollypop to suck on to keep him distracted. Well, the second attempt worked. The pea came out looking just about pristine, aside from the blood on it. The problem with the pea was that it was still a bit “al dente” so it was hard to get a grasp on. Hey, I followed the directions to microwave the peas, so don’t blame me, blame the Jolly Green Giant!

I thanked the doctor brain trust and the nurse who helped and I gathered up my son to go home. As I’m walking out the door, the doctor who removed the pea asked me if I wanted to keep it. He was clearly dead serious. Had he run into parents who want the items their kids stick in funny places? Suffice to say, I was not one of them. I said no, that he could keep it and suggested only half-kidding that he could snack on it later if he was hungry and walked out the door.

As we got in the car I asked my son if he learned a lesson in all this. I had been hoping for him to say he’d never stick anything up his nose again. He said “yeah, make sure to get the nurse with the lollypops!”

We’ve had a few ER trips since that day, but NEVER again for anything stuck up a nose or any other place!

Have you ever had a funny trip to the ER or doctor?

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